Reality

Boys, college, life, love

I’ve been so uninspired lately. As you can tell from my last post, I’ve been mending a broken heart. If any of you have experienced this phenomenon, you know exactly how I feel…

The world just seems a little bit hollower; the sun not as bright; the colors not as full; and life just not as fulfilling. It certainly makes creativity hard-pressed to come by.

I’m not trying to make excuses for my radio-silence, rather give some insight into my life. I have tried to be as vulnerable and open here as possibly, but I’ve always tried to keep some semblance of veil between us.

I wanted to create a space not only where you all could  see me and how I handle issues of life, but where there was just enough room for you to disassociate me and insert yourself.

I hope I’ve done somewhat of a good job of that…

I have been keeping my mind busy at least. Books have begun to consume my life again (my finances are having a hard time keeping up with me ;). There’s just something about losing yourself to words on a page. If only for a little while, you get to break from reality and think of someone else’s problems.

It’s really refreshing. Haha there have been so many times when I’ve was completely engulfed in a book, that people have to yell my name multiple times. I mean, I’m already good at tuning people out, but give me a book, and it’s over.

Books are a great escape, but the thing about reality is, you can run from it, but you can’t hide. Sooner or later, you have to wake up and come to terms with your life. You have the choice between accepting your circumstances and being oppressed by them, or understanding them and working towards changing them (if that’s what you desire).

A really good friend of mine really slapped some sense into me last night– no, not literally– but even in its figurative state, he helped me to see that said guy had moved on, and I needed to as well. Feeling sad was ok, but I still needed to be moving forward and doing the things that make me happy.

So here I am, moving forward, doing the things that make me happy; not stuffing my sadness, but not letting it consume me either.

Time for me to go change my reality.

Xoxo, CB

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